How to Find Confidence in your Sense of Style

Black girl in white dress smiling at the camera

What’s going on BeBlended fam? I hope you are in good spirits and that you are keeping healthy. Let’s talk confidence, okay? I think we can all agree that confidence is a result of inner work. But how do you become confident in what you wear and with your style? I don’t believe in a ‘one size fits all’ answer to that question. So take what you’d like from my perspective and feel free to discover what works for you on your own. What has worked for me may or may not work for you, but that is the beauty of being on different journeys.

To me, confidence and style aren’t things that you find and simply keep in one state forever. To be honest, I don’t have it all figured out. We are evolving beings, our bodies and our tastes are constantly changing and so is our style. In a world of Pinterest and Instagram, I have found that I like to create folders and boards for outfits, makeup concepts and other things that I like. Your style doesn’t have to be limited to your clothing, it could also include your music tastes and your hobbies 

I think that style is a lot like going to the grocery store:

You’ve got the ready-to-eat meals in the hot foods section and then you have the aisles full of ingredients to create meals of your own. Sometimes it’s good to take inspiration from the ‘ready-to-eat meals’ of fashion, but ultimately you are the only you there is so you should go find your unique flavours in the many food aisles. 

MAKE your own spice mix, boo! 

Feel free to add and modify your ingredients as often as you’d like to regardless of what is said about you.

I think another thing that contributed to the discovery of my style and confidence was first learning to love myself in my rawest form. No makeup, no hair extensions and with the clothes that I already had in my closet . How many of y’all have complained about not having the right outfit because your outfit isn’t like the Instagram influencers’ you’ve seen? I know I have. The goal though is to be inspired but not to compare.

Lastly, find joy - the state of soul. If your soul is joyful then regardless of the ever-changing world around you, you can remain confident. That, my friend is your first step to inner confidence that ultimately will outwardly flourish.

So here’s to finding confidence and style! Here’s to allowing ourselves to be ourselves and nobody else. Here’s to YOU confident QUEEN. You are reading this, which means you are breathing, and today is a good day like no other to FLOURISH.

Love always,


About the Blogger: Joy Boka

A picture of Joy in a striped shirt smiling at the camera

 This article was written by our Blog Contributor, Joy Boka. She runs a blog called Some of her hobbies include theater, dancing , singing , and poetry. She is passionate about being part of - as well as creating - a community and safe spaces to bring healing to people’s lives. She strongly believes that life is not meant to be done alone. Instead she has learned that there is no dishonor in asking for help and that there is wealth, love and shared resources in being part of a community. She is happy that you are choosing to be a part of this one.

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